I am sure that I should have been keeping this blog up to date because there are so many things that have happened from July to now. Just recording the loss of my dear beloved Uncle Danny would have been helpful, I am sure.
The summer went by in a whirl and all of my fears and dreaded moments more or less came to life but I lived thru it as I always seem to do. There was no privacy, there were tense moments and nothing was planned for "the future" which is NOW.
I was able to spend time with Uncle Danny and Aunt Ellie as he journeyed towards his last breath. I was able to comfort both of them by "just being present" and I am so grateful that I was able to offer myself for that time. I thank God that I was in the right place so that I could be there. Imagine if I had been in FL!
I was also able to speak during his memorial service and that served to be a huge comfort to Aunt Ellie and I hope to others. Josh officiated over the service, Dan's request, and he prepared a beautiful service.
There were some struggles with Betty but for the most part we all learned to live together and coped. I admit that I looked forward to the few times that we had the house to ourselves but that of course is the selfish side of me which I would like to gloss over. We found ourselves having to leave Betty at home alone a couple times for a few hours. It always left me feeling anxious but worked out ok. The times that she was with Paula and with Pat were times I felt free and without anxiety and boy did I relish them.
Pills... seemed to NOT be a problem when we were together because I put them into a little glass bowl by the breakfast dish and the same little glass dish by the dinner plate. there were few questions asked as we ate pretty much on a schedule. 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. At 2 p.m. I made her a sandwich with chips, milk, 2 cookies and she ate it as she sat on the couch.
Now we are back south and what a mess it seems. I feel a wreck. That is all I can say.