Friday, April 16, 2010

How does one argue with an 87 year old woman who claims she forgets nothing when she forgets so much? It isn't really that you want to argue it is more that you want to help so that next time things might go a little more smoothly. For instance, last year she forgot her glasses when she came north. She doesn't remember that she forgot...so when we mention that she needs to make a list of things to bring, she gets all worked up.
We try to just mention that a list would make things easier but she then insists that she has been coming north for years and has never forgotten a thing. Not only that but then it gets into other things totally unrelated. Then, it becomes, a shouting match between Bob and Betty. He really does not have a lot of patience and you NEED, A LOT!
I just have a headache. I tried to mention that she is getting angry at herself for things that she should not worry about. I remind her that her brothers would not even THINK about getting mad because NONE of this would matter to them. Then she mentions her fear. I think talking a bit about the fear is good for her. She does know that her brothers have Alzheimer's and she of course worries that it may strike her. We feel that it has, but there is no diagnosis yet. Wish there were a miracle drug for this dread disease.

4 comments:

  1. HI Mary! Just was visiting some of my fellow New England bloggers and wanted to say hi :) although I see you are a looooong way from home right now there in sunny Florida. You aren't missing too much up here in New England- it's still a chilly Spring and it snowed here (Vermont) this morning- brrr!! Soon it will be warmer though, right?!

    You have a lovely blog here. Your creativity is wonderful- I love all the cards and artwork you have shared! I also send you supportive prayers during you difficult moments right now. May Florida help you all find the answers you need. TJ

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  2. Mary - I'm so sorry you are having to go through this dementia (Alheimer's or not) ordeal with your MIL. My mother experienced the same battle with memory. It is soooo frustrating at first becuase you just can't understand how they can't remember that they just told you that. And how they can remember that we "stole" the car from them!!!

    Try to assure your husband that she is just not the mom that raised him anymore inside her brain. And just try to love her and care for her as best you can. The last trip we went on with my mom spawned two of me. And try answering the phone back to back and having a conversation with a mom that wants to tell you all she talked about with her "daughter" Kay and you are an only child! Yep lost my identity for awhile!

    Anyway - know I will be praying for you and the decisions you must make. I too recognized problems before others and her sisters couldn't beleive it when I told them. Or maybe just didn't want to believe it.

    Hugs - a fellow sparker (off the band wagon) - Kay

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  4. Hi Mary. Swinging through the New England blogger roll to say hi. I am sorry you are going through this, it is so frustrating and so sad. My Dad is getting a little scary, his Mom had major early onset Alzheimer's. It sucks. There is no other word to describe it. It is a horrid, rotten, life sucking, traumatic and miserable disease. And it frightens me that it runs in my family. Hang in there, deep breaths.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. It means a lot to me. Mary GW