Wait Loss

There is no error in spelling there. I have come to the conclusion that I never intend to WAIT for my weight loss quest but it happens ALL the time. I put off until tomorrow what I don't really feel like doing today. I have gained so much weight since August I don't want to go to my doctor. I need to see her but I am so embarrassed that I have gained so much weight...I'd rather HIDE!
I began The Lord's Table yesterday....

Here is what just happened. I made a nice pasta for lunch with penne, green peppers, broccoli, onion and GARLIC. I added turkey meatballs at the end. Anyway...I was clearly full and decided I needed a fudgcicle. They come in two separate pieces and as soon as I finished the one I went back to the fridge for #2. I quickly asked for Jesus to give me the strength to stop at one and sure enough...ONE. So, thank you God!

I am not sure how to get myself under control. I eat when I am sad, happy, full, depressed, in a lot of pain, alone, together, hot, cold, you name it. I certainly look to fill myself up. Food is NOT doing it. I use food to protect myself from life. That is that.

Here is a picture of me during anorexia with no breasts even after giving birth.

Then there is the opposite end of the spectrum...me at like 275.

I would pray that I could just be a healthy weight and have a healthy attitude towards my body and eating.